Archive Page 3


Friendship 2

A true friendship is a precious relationship that defies understanding. People
who seemingly have little in common can form bonds of friendship that last
a lifetime. It is within this relationship that confidences are revealed and one’s
soul is exposed in the most vulnerable way. Many people have been
unfortunate in making enemies as well on their journey through life. Enemies
have the advantage of dealing with us without the constraints of loving or
caring. Their ‘truth’ carries no responsibility for our emotional reaction.
Friends, by contrast, are much more careful about ‘telling it like it is.’ Their
concern and love influence what they say or do. In fact, our enemies know far
less about us and so our secrets are generally safe from them. It is our friends
who know our secrets, our weaknesses, and our vulnerabilities. They have all
the weapons to hurt us.

Your enemy could be your best friend, as he or she tells you the unvarnished
truth. Your friend could be your worst enemy, by sparing you the hard, cold
facts. It may cross your mind from time to time that the enemy’s criticism is
easier to bear, as you are unlikely to be as bruised by it. A good and lasting
friendship, one in which the hard truths are told in a spirit of love, is indeed
a source of great blessing and joy – a marvellous antidote to the enemies that
cross your path from time to time.



Unhappiness is like a virus, and can spread quickly like a wildfire if we don’t
recognise it and put our fire breakers in its path. There may be no conscious
reason for the feelings of unhappiness, but our emotions are governed by the
thoughts that run around in our head. This expression of sadness may have
been fuelled by an incident that happened as recently as yesterday, or as long
as many years ago. Emotions govern not just our mental state, but our physical
state as well. If these unhappy feelings are left unresolved, they return later,
more potent and toxic and ready to seep into other areas of our life.

Feeling sad from time to time is a normal part of life. However, when sadness
begins to define who you are and how you relate with people, you have a
problem. This is now a job for a professional therapist to assist you with the
solution. Your friends may try to cheer you up, but without your co-operation
their efforts are useless. You are the gate-keeper of your own emotions. Just
remember that the unhappiness you feel is just one part of your life. Everyone
has at least one thing they can feel happy about. How you deal with life’s
problems is a much more accurate assessment of the person you are. Allow
yourself the luxury of grieving if you need to, but know that a brighter day
will come if you open yourself to the possibility. Life will go on, regardless of
your emotional state; so, try to breathe in some happiness.


Love Again

Love Again

We should all learn to love each other but we know there are several forms of love. Many take
love for granted and assume it is a natural thing to experience. Romantic love
seems easy enough to understand. Love within families is also understandable,
even though some of us may not like each other. Loving our ‘fellow-man’
presents an even greater challenge, as this type of love often has to be
learned. Research has shown that children who are never exposed to love
have difficulty sustaining a loving relationship later in life. Why then do we
expect that everyone knows how to love? Mountains could be moved and
major, major problems resolved if we could all just learn to love one another.

If loving others is a challenge for you, it is worth your while to keep trying.
You may think it’s not possible to feel love for someone if you don’t like them,
but don’t be confused by that idea. Liking and loving are two separate
emotions. In its simplest form, love means you wish harm to no one. By
contrast, liking someone means you admire or have some regard for that
person. These concepts may be new to you, but if you think about it, they are
really not difficult to embrace. You may even be surprised to discover that it’s
easier to love than to like.



When life shuts its doors on our precious plans, we believe that this barrier is
personal. Don’t believe that for one moment, as “the rain falls on the just and
on the unjust.” We all encounter obstacles as we journey through life. So many
obstructions are placed in our path that we often think success is not
achievable, in spite of our best efforts. Innovative thinking springs from our
need to find another way around a problem. If we focus intently on the fact
that the door is locked, we are likely to overlook the key that could open it to
endless possibilities.

Perseverance is your only option if you are going to realise the goals you have
set for yourself. At times you are not sure where the energy will come from
to persevere. If you fall off the horse, you must remount so that the horse and
others know you will not be deterred by a mere fall. Also, sometimes it is by
not getting what you hoped for that you acquire the key for achieving
something even greater.



Living or having a life is a choice that is made by each and every one of us.
So many of us fill our daily hours with only routine – sleep, eat, work, sleep.
As the monotony gets to us we become bored and dissatisfied. We manage
to convince ourselves that we have no room for choices. Life is what you make
it and playing by the rules does not insulate you from pain and suffering. We
all encounter difficulties in life, even when we’re trying to live the best way
we can. So, formulate in your mind the kind of life you want to live, and lay
the foundation for its achievement.

You may be able to live life to the fullest while you are healthy and gainfully
employed. But, if your health or fortune diminishes you can’t expect your
lifestyle to remain the same. You should try to maximise your resources at
whatever stage you are in life. There may be other lives after this one, but
since this is the only one we know of for sure, live it to the fullest.


Know Better? Do Better!

To speak words is a much simpler act than to live words. So often our words
and actions have very little to do with each other. How we conduct our own
lives often bears no resemblance to how we say we should. More people learn
by example than by listening. Talk is cheap, but to live by one’s belief system
is a very difficult thing to do. It calls for faith in whatever you believe, in spite
of what the world around you may be thinking or saying.

You have to remain true to your own value system, and the values you plant
in your mind determine the fruits that you reap in your life. Plant mistrust,
pessimism, hate and anger and you will reap the same. Plant love, tolerance
and trust instead and you will harvest joy and contentment.



It is disconcerting that we have no control over how our actions are going to
be interpreted. Each action creates its own stream of reactions which may bear
little or no resemblance to our original intent. Any reaction to a particular
event is directly related to how one is feeling and thinking at that precise
moment. On another day, in a different emotional state, there could be a
totally different response. Clearly, any act of ours is like a message in a bottle
put out to sea. Depending on the wind and currents, the message could end
up on any one of our distant shores.

You may find yourself in a situation with which you are totally unfamiliar, and
yet a reaction is expected from you. Any response you make will be
determined by several different variables. If you lack the necessary
information, your response may be neither the correct nor the expected one.
Always remember, you have options and there are many ways to behave in
any given situation. There is hardly ever only one right answer or solution. If
the situation relates to a test in school, and not a ‘test’ in life, your options are
more limited. When life expects a reaction from you and you haven’t a clue,
be honest and admit it to yourself. Sometimes, your only option in this life,
so full of variables, may be to do the best you can. Since you are the one
making the decision, if life hands you a lemon, you don’t have to suck on it
– you can choose to make lemonade instead

‘Nuff said!

October 2019
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