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It is an ancient fallacy that shedding tears is a characteristic of the female
psyche. The fact is, tears are really a part of our humanness, not a feature of
gender. Crying, which provides many benefits for our emotional state, causes
us to experience relief and brings us back to a place of balance. Tears
sometimes come when we least expect them, and when this happens they
are probably flowing straight from our soul.

Tears do not need your permission to come to the surface, but you must use
your tears for something worthwhile. Even if they flow spontaneously, use
them to alleviate your pain, soothe your soul, or lift your spirit. Try to identify
the source or reason for your tears, so that the next time tears come, you will
be better able to understand their connection to your problems.


Be Yourself

When we are dissatisfied with who we are we behave in ways that are alien to
our true selves. It is sad that we can be feeling on top of the world, then have
our confidence punctured by an offhanded comment from a total stranger.
As self-confident as some of us are, a note of criticism can have a disastrous effect.
Sometimes we strike back in anger or we begin to change our personality,
hoping that will shield us from further criticism in the future.Somehow we seem
unable to insulate ourselves from the damage that criticism can do to our self-esteem.

You should not squander the opportunity to learn from others, even if it comes
with a hefty price tag. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground when you have
the conviction of your own opinions; express them. It has been said that “if
you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” You have spent a
great deal of time creating ‘you.’ You may be similar to someone else, but
you are not exactly the same. Celebrate your one-of-a-kind ‘personhood.’
You are much too important to put your ongoing development into the hands of
another person. That person does not have to live in your skin – you do! The
best way to be in harmony with yourself is to like yourself, then to keep
tweaking the person you are until you get it tuned just right.



There is the belief that all lives are journeys with a series of tests. If we don’t
get our facts right we have to repeat the test – that is, we live more lives until
we get it right. Some of us continue to make the same mistakes over and over
again, as if we are incapable of ever getting it right. There is also the belief
that the good people who live among us are here to show us how to live;
they seem to have knowledge to impart, as if they have been through life
before. In this life, strife is just one of the negative components of
relationships. Strife causes disruption in the flow of peace and tranquility in
one’s life. Anger, mistrust and pain are also results of living with strife. Strife
breaks up relationships, and the level of dislocation caused by it is directly
related to how we deal with it.

Always focus on the fact that life’s difficulties are influenced more by your
attitude than by the problems themselves. You need to control your attitude
before it takes control of you. The same is true of strife – how you respond to
it determines if there is going to be a confrontation or a discussion, a fight or
a compromise. The ‘judge’ who will evaluate how you have lived your life
would definitely prefer that each ‘strife experience’ be a ‘life experience.’ Live
this life you now have in peace and love; who knows…maybe there is no
‘second chance.’



Peace is an element that has a priceless quality in one’s life. When there is
dissension and strife at home, we find that the other areas of life are severely
compromised. It is not easy to leave the stress and confusion at home when
we leave for work. Conversely, regardless of how badly things go at work,
coming home to peace and love is like balm for a bruised soul. Stability at
home gives us the strength and energy to face whatever destabilising forces
exist in the other areas of our life.

In the midst of personal stress you so long for peace that any other dwelling
seems like a better place to be. Stress brought on by confusion in your life
affects both your mental and physical health. Remember, it is not that the
other person is disturbing your peace – it is that you have allowed him or her
to do so. It may not be necessary to leave your home in order to find peace,
but you must address the disharmony that shattered your peace in the first



There are very few things in life more discouraging than rejection. Yet, who
ever said that acceptance was the only sure sign of success? There are times
when it is this lack of acceptance of our ideas, words or deeds that jolts us into
action that proves our capacity and ability.

You shouldn’t allow the opinion (the rejection) of one person to define who
you are or what you are capable of doing. Use the rejection as fuel to energise
your determination to succeed. It is likely that this rejection was just what you
needed to jump-start your motor. Take the time to examine the reason for the
rejection; use the valuable parts and discard the rest. Move on to the next
phase of your development with the knowledge that nobody gets what they
want all the time.



Given the choice, most of us would prefer a life free from discord. Whether we
like it or not, no one can go through life without some sort of confrontation or
difference of opinion. The people who interact with us become our adversaries
at some point in the relationship. Some of us like the fight, just to feel the passion
that can come into play as the battle intensifies. Some battles become so intense
that the emotional scars last a lifetime, whether we have won or lost. No one can
win at battles every time, so defeat and victory are both included in the packages
that we carry with us through life.

When you are prepared to fight and defend the things you believe in, you
make a credible candidate for spiritual growth. You need to believe in some
power higher than yourself and be prepared to be a soldier in any army that
defends the basic rule of a good life: treat others in the way you would like
to be treated. With that kind of commitment, you would be helping to make
the world a better place.



At times we feel as if the situation we are in is too difficult, and that life
provides us with no cushion to cope. Yet, all the coping mechanisms we need
can be found either within us or in the words and reactions of people around
us. No one is immune to the dark forces of hopelessness and depression, but
how we handle them determines whether we continue to feel helpless in the
wake of our difficulties or seek help from a power much stronger than
Life often seems so discouraging, that merely surviving seems like the only
success we can ever hope for. It could be a lot easier with a faith anchored in
God. In the difficult times, that faith provides you with comfort in the
knowledge that your pain is a shared one. Nothing is more immobilising than
hopelessness; but nothing is more energising than faith, supported by hope
and creative thinking. There is always a solution. You just need to look in the
right direction.

May 2019
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