12
Jun
11

Realistic Expectations

When we sign on to the marriage contract we are making a
commitment to put another person on the same level as ourselves. We
are promising to be there in good times and bad. Somewhere in this,
some of us make the mistake of believing that the partner is now
responsible for our happiness and well-being. Some even think that the
early state of euphoria can last forever. These major misunderstandings
set expectations for the relationship that cannot possibly be realized. In
time, we can feel so trapped by responsibilities that we lose our hopes
and dreams. Some elect to stay in the marriage, regardless, while others
elect to get out and try to find happiness with another partner. Those
who elect to stay need an objective analysis of the relationship, to ensure
there is enough to sustain its continuance.

When you are unhappy in your marriage, but have elected to stay, you
shouldn’t keep looking for reasons to leave. If you really wanted to go,
you should have done so. Concentrate on the positive aspects that kept
you in it. It is counterproductive to dwell on past hurts. Make every
effort to create an environment that facilitates your ability to be happy.
It is not your partner’s job to make you happy; you have to do that for
yourself.

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