Archive for April, 2010


Mirror, Mirror

We sometimes use mirrors to validate the images we already have in our
heads. Even the slightest change in our physical appearance may cause
much readjustment in our perception of our selves. The same is true of
how we perceive others, as we often use ourselves as the mirror to reflect
our understanding of people. We may not be prepared to be honest
about this, but how we see the world is in direct relationship to how we
see ourselves. If we are mean and selfish we assume our behaviour is the
benchmark, so ‘they’ couldn’t possibly mean us any good. We deflect our
own inadequacies on the people with whom we interact. If we see a
world full of hate and self-centredness, chances are we are judging the
world by whatever we are processing about ourselves.
Keep an open mind and don’t project your own feelings into the
interpretation of someone else’s behaviour. When you respect and love
yourself, your attitude to the rest of us will be painted with the same
brush. It’s amazing the kind of results you may get from others when
you remove your bias from the evaluation process.
Take another look.


Life Changes

Life Changes

We often remain on life paths that have become boring and lack the
excitement we need to fire up our engines, stimulate our creative juices,
or just move us out of the monotony that so many of us call ‘living.’ We
convince ourselves that we are miserable or unreasonable for wanting
more, when things already seem to be going okay. There are days when
we feel as if we are the convenience store on the corner, open 24/7, and
stocking just the necessities of life. But have we looked recently? Even
the corner store is attempting to broaden its selection of items. Life is a
lot more than routine and basics. Routine is good but a steady diet of
‘sameness’ creates a restlessness of spirit that must have some means of
being satisfied. Try not to apologize or scold yourself when you insist on spiking your
‘good’ humdrum life with new and exciting events.

Even good can be made better!


No One’s Perfect

It’s been said that loving someone “in spite of ’’ and not “because of ”
is the ideal way to go. But how many of us are really capable of always
loving in this noble way? It’s easy enough to identify the obvious faults
in the ones we love; it’s a lot more difficult to accept as flaws the flip side
of the things we love about them. The things that we love about
someone when the relationship is going well, have the capacity to irritate
us at other times. A razor-sharp tongue and wit can be the source of a
loved one’s admiration, unless he or she is on the receiving end of it. The
pride we feel at the ease with which an agile mind grasps a concept, may
be as much a source of annoyance at another time. While it can be
comforting to sit and share another’s company in silence, that same
silence can also be the fuel that drives anger, when a verbal
confrontation is what we want. The same analytical fairness used in
discussing others can become unacceptable when a partner needs us to
take their side.

You have to accept all aspects of the one you love. You may not like all
of them all the time, but be careful that you are not unduly rattled by the
dual application of the traits that attracted you in the first place. Love the
package, while being careful in your analysis of the component parts.

Something is wrong with each of us.


Rat Race

We have the option of chasing through life like rats, attempting to
achieve or experience as much as possible; or, we can stroll through it,
and smell the flowers along the way. We make this decision either
consciously or unconsciously, as our lives progress. Some of us are lucky
and are warned, midcourse, of a need for change. Some scramble
through like rats, climbing from one ladder to another, as the ‘cheese’
rises higher than we are ever able to reach. We could choose a balance
whereby we try to acquire the ‘cheese,’ but put a ceiling on the price we
are prepared to pay for it. There’s nothing wrong with desiring consumer
items, but differentiating our needs from our wants will keep us focused
on the more important of the two. Some choices bring contentment and
relief from stress; others create grave repercussions and keep us
imprisoned in a lifestyle from which we would desperately like to escape.

Whether you run with the rats, or take a more balanced approach, is up
to you. It’s great to have the financial resources to acquire whatever you
want, but you’ll find out in time that this alone can’t provide you with
love, companionship or contentment. If you ran with the rats, and were
interviewed at the end of your life, it would be interesting to hear
whether your intense search for gratification was worth all the other
pleasures you missed.
Balance is the key.

April 2010
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